words of reassurance love language

April 21, 2023 Post a Comment

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While some might argue that the term is fairly self-explanatory, there are actually a few misconceptions and misunderstandings about what to do if you or your partner identify as someone with this form of affection at the top of their list.

"Individuals whose love language is Words of Affirmation are stereotyped as extroverts. They often are seen as using this type of love language as a way of managing any anxieties that arise within [the relationship]," explains relationship and intimacy expert and co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute, Dr. Carolina Pataky, PhD.

She emphasizes that there's real vulnerability in giving and receiving compliments. "These individuals love to feel reassured by their partner’s words and openness to communication; it simply makes their day to hear their loved one comment on how attracted they are to their qualities and makes them feel loved and desired," says Pataky

In case you were wondering where all this love language talk comes from, you can thank pastor, relationship counselor, and author ofThe 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,Gary Chapman, PhD.

The five love languages are Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving/Giving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation. And the theory states that everyone has two main love languages. But nowadays, you might find it more common for people to rank their love languages one through five to give others a better of what they like all around.

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If you’ve never gotten into a fight with your partner, I’d love to know all your secrets. However, most of us have been in relationships with both quickly-resolved arguments and passive-aggressive stand-offs that last for days. While you never want to be mistreating each other, working through conflict can lead to some healthy new agreements. The real key to respectful communication that leads you to growth mostly has to do with how your approach fights — and that can be described by your *taps mic* love language.

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This idea originates from the book The Five Love Languages by relationship therapist Gary Chapman, who says that there are five primary ways we express love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving and giving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. For personality-type obsessed people, the love languages are a critical barometer in our self-perception of how we feel we are truly loved.

If you’re not sure what your love language is, think about what usually causes you to lock horns in your relationship. What do you complain about most often? If you say “I wish you would pay more attention to me” when your significant other is glued to their phone during dinner, you’re revealing that “quality time” is your love language because you want their undivided attention. When your partner continually leaves household chores up to you, and it’s emotionally upsetting in a deep way, you’re revealing that “acts of service” are your love language. Your vexed grumbles divulge what your heart wants most, and they also say a lot about your fighting style. Here’s what you need to know:

People with this love language understand the value of time and attention. It’s not enough for you and your partner to be in the same room, they need to give their full eyes and ears. It makes sense then that, when you fight, you like to keep open lines of communication. Stonewalling? Never heard of her.

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