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Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems.
You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you find more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick. So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings.
For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.
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But if you recognise the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do.
It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.
When we let go of a negative experience, we move to a greater good for ourselves. When we let go of bad ideas, habits, and beliefs, we make our minds more receptive to positive and uplifting ones.
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Letting go. Everyone talks about it like it’s the easiest thing. Unfurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open. But my hand has been clenched into a fist for three years now; it’s frozen shut.
If letting go, if letting people and things work themselves out in the way that they needed to without your help was the most important thing, then it was also the hardest.
By letting go of the things that have been in your life with a feeling of gratitude, you foster appreciation for, and a desire to take better care of, the things in your life.
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